Waiting

"I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope, My soul waits for the Lord More than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is lovingkindness, And with Him is abundant redemption. And He will redeem Israel from all his iniquities." Psalm 130:5-8

Waiting is so hard. Have you ever planted a seed, watered it, then watched it every day to see if you could see the first green begin to show through the dirt? As kids we did this in our science class, but I still do it in my garden. I may not check it the first day or two. After all, I'm an adult now, I know it takes longer than a day for a seed to sprout and reach the surface. But inwardly I can't wait. I anticipate.

Seeds planted in the spirit can take much longer than natural seeds to show life. I'd been waiting so long long for certain spiritual seeds to show their sprouts, that I confess, I gave up. At first, I watched and waited, excited for the plant and fruit that would follow. But as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into years, I confess, I gave up. I quit watering those seeds, quit bathing them in prayer. I quit watching and hoping because I didn't want to face the disappointment again. Busying my thoughts with other things eased my mind so I focussed on the daily grind or my own comfort instead.

Hope is a tricky thing, don't you agree?

Honestly it's easier to let a plant die than to water and nurture it daily without seeing any results. At least you can't be bitter about your seed's lack of progress when your own lack of attention caused the problem. But to diligently nurture, water and wait and yet see nothing is brutal. So I quit. To my shame, I gave up. To be quite honest though it didn't stop me from being bitter toward God. You see I also quit expecting anything special from Him in my life. I still believed, but I held hurt inside and didn't risk hoping.

God is so good and faithful. He is restoring my hope, my faith. He is showing signs of life underneath the soil. I can almost see green coming up from the shifting dirt above that original seed. And I believed that seed to be dead!

Without any care or water from me in recent years, God was working inside that little seed. He tilled and nurtured it through all these years. I don't deserve to reap the fruit from the crop this seed will produce, but He is allowing me to be one of the harvesters all the same. WOW!

Though man be found unfaithful, yet God remains faithful.

I thank you YHVH!